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May 2016: My Name is Judge

31/5/2016

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My plan for May was to ban myself from all reading, writing and blogging, so I could solely focus on plotting my third Nephos novel.

This plan was mostly successful, although I fell off the wagon a few times...

I wrote one short story at the start of May. I felt that I should add another story to the proverbial trunk before disappearing into novel-writing. The story was called The Great Debate and told of two people arguing about which is the best format for reading: paperbacks or electronic devices. It also contained a story-within-the-story called The Secret of Poy. The entire piece was written in rhyme.

I also vowed not to read anything, but this was derailed by the Birmingham Writers' Group Summer Competition. I won the competition last year and pocketed the £30 prize money, but the real prize was being crowned judge of the competition this year.

I therefore had ten 5000-word short stories to read, all based on the theme of Alternative Birmingham. It was a great privilege to read and critique the superb writing of my peers. The entries varied from sci-fi to fantasy, from contemporary fiction to steam punk, and featured ghosts, witches, fairies, aliens and tentacled creatures. I have chosen the winner and this will be announced when our group meet on 15 June.

But generally, the month of May was spent plotting, plotting, plotting. I now have the overall structure of my third Nephos novel laid out, along with major plot points and twists. It is going to be a whodunnit and I know whodunnit. My notebook contains over fifty new characters - coppers, criminals and a brand new Sheriff - all of whom I will be getting to know when I begin writing in June.

There is always a lot of anticipation before embarking on a new novel-writing adventure. It's like getting back in the water for the first time after watching Jaws. But JuNoWriMo begins tomorrow, so there is no time for jitters. I just need to take a deep breath and dive straight in...

As Neil Gaiman says: "You sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until it's done. It's that easy and that hard."

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April 2016: Game-Changer

3/5/2016

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Two game-changing things happened this month...

1) I turned 30.
2) I became a Dad!

It was an awesome, busy month! Amazingly, I did manage to fit in some writing activities amidst the many nappies.

I attended my usual Birmingham Writers’ Group meeting at the start of the month. This was my last meeting as a twentysomething and a non-parent, which felt quite significant. The group discussed my short story about a fugitive robot in Tsukiji fish market and the comments were very positive. Less than 24 hours later, I was holding my baby boy!

I turned 30 the following week. I celebrated with a pint of The Sheriff, which I hope was inspired by my novel. I also received a fantastic birthday present from my friend Donald - he composed a theme tune for The Curse of Besti Bori!

During my birthday weekend, I attended the book launch for Beelzebelle, the fifth in the comic fantasy Clovenhoof series. The launch was a lot of fun and the book is brilliant. You can read my Beelzebelle review to find out more.

Looking ahead, I don’t know what my 30s will hold. A lot of parenting, naturally, but what will it mean for my writing?

My 20s will always be the decade when I became a writer and, eventually, an author. This is mostly thanks to the Birmingham Writers’ Group, Book To The Future and NaNoWriMo. I turned 30 having self-published two novels and a short story collection. I also have a tidy author platform, a social media presence and the headline slot in the collaborative novel Circ.

However, staring into a brand new decade is a daunting prospect. What sort of writer will I be when I turn 40? Will I have an agent? Will I have a traditional publisher? Will I be able to write full-time? Or will I have given up entirely?

Anyway, my son is calling. Time to get back to those nappies!

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REVIEW: Beelzebelle by Heide Goody and Iain Grant

1/5/2016

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The fifth in the Clovenhoof comic fantasy series returns to its roots.

The action is back in Sutton Coldfield in Birmingham and rejoins the original trio of characters - Clovenhoof, Nerys and Ben - for the first time since the second book.

This latest adventure sees Clovenhoof adopting a baby and learning the ropes of fatherhood. He meets the women of SCUM (Sutton Coldfield Union of Mums), hires a simian au pair called Gorky, and leads a breast-feeding protest against the dogmatic, smartphone-compatible Consecr8 Church.

Meanwhile, Michael is working for the ARC laboratory, owned by the Consecr8 Church, where its zealous benefactor Chip Malarkey has tasked him with obtaining the DNA of every animal on the planet...

Beelzebelle is funny, manic and rude, as you would expect from authors Goody and Grant. It is a joy to return to the original characters, especially Clovenhoof, AKA Satan, who was forced into retirement on Earth in the first novel. The debate about breast-feeding in public is a central theme in the novel, allowing Goody and Grant to try their hand at satire, whilst also coming up with endless comical synonyms for the word 'breast'. Norks?!

The novel also features the best villain in the franchise to date. Chip Malarkey is a self-righteous mogul/preacher with Farrage-style views on breast-feeding and what constitutes indecency. Rather than a God Complex, he has a Noah Complex, which leads to a very exciting finale.

On top of all this excitement, there is also the matter of the Beast of Boldmere, a ferocious monster wreaking havoc across Birmingham, accidentally created in the ARC laboratory from a curious mixture of DNA...

Best of all, there is much fun to be had for Birmingham readers, especially those in the Sutton Coldfield area such as myself, who will enjoy spotting references to local roads, bars and Sutton Park. There is even a map in the front of the book which reveals that Clovenhoof lives around the corner from my house. Yikes.

You can read my reviews of the full Clovenhoof franchise elsewhere on this blog. The quartet of novels are Clovenhoof, Pigeonwings, God Squad, Hellzapoppin'.

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