Wow! My friend Donald, lead singer of Calm For The Restless, has composed a theme tune for my latest fantasy novel, The Curse of Besti Bori.

He sent me the music with the following message:

"As a 30th birthday gift, and a thanks for the hours I spent enjoying that book, what I've done is compose a short piece of music that, hypothetically, if Besti Bori were made into a film, would be playing during the opening credits. You'll have to use your imagination a little bit as some of the instruments really don't quite sound like their real-life counterparts. Happy birthday man! And get back writing soon!"

Greatest 30th birthday present ever. Well, except for maybe these. You can listen to the theme tune below. Enjoy!

On Saturday, I attended the book launch for Beelzebelle, the latest in the Clovenhoof comic fantasy series written by Heide Goody and Iain Grant.

Hosting a good book launch is important because it can raise awareness of your novel, whilst allowing you and your loved ones to let off steam after months of hard work.

I have attended Heide and Iain's previous book launches and they are always a fun, casual affair. This was their most relaxed book launch to date, with no formal speeches or readings. They simply hired a room at Bacchus Bar (a fantastic dungeon-esque Birmingham haunt) and gathered writers, readers, bloggers and guests for free drinks and networking. I spent a good deal of the evening with fellow Birmingham authors Katharine D'Souza and James Brogden, reviewed elsewhere on this blog.

Naturally, there were books for sale but this was the only clue that a book launch was taking place. Well, not quite. Heide and Iain always find a fun way to bring elements of their books to their launches. Beelzebelle is about Clovenhoof adopting a baby, so there were also complimentary candy dummies and the opportunity to be photographed with a hideous baby doll.

Coincidentally, I became a Daddy recently, so when this picture appeared on Facebook, I had to clarify that the baby doll was not my own newborn!

The event certainly inspired me to host my own book launch. I have never hosted my own event before, although I did participate in The One Big Book Launch and the Circ book launch, and I would love to deliver a launch as fun and relaxed as this one.

Up In Smoke is the debut novel from thriller author AA Abbott.

Having read her later two novels, After The Interview and The Bride's Trail, I enjoyed returning to her original work to see where it all began. It tells the story of Susan, one of the few good characters, who seeks revenge on a major tobacco company after her husband dies from lung cancer.​

By now, I knew what to expect from Abbott and I was not disappointed. Up In Smoke contains all of her trademark authorial motifs: shady corporate deals, the use of Birmingham and London as backdrops to the action, and a vast international cast with varying moral codes.​​

The characters are always a great reason to pick up an Abbott novel. Most of them are so unsympathetic and unlikeable that they capture your interest, which is why people are so addicted to shows like Game of Thrones and House of Cards. Up In Smoke is like an entire novel of Lannisters and Underwoods!

The ever-present symbol of cigarettes is appropriate because these characters are filthy and rotten, like the cancer-sticks which they aggressively smoke.

Abbott writes from a kaleidoscope of perspectives, quickly switching between chauvinists, adulterers, addicts, smugglers, murderers and corporate spies. This mixture of anti-heroes and outright villains makes for compulsive reading because readers will never be sure who to root for, so you can just sit back and let the corruption unfold.

Abbott is generous with her ideas and does not miss an opportunity for debauchery, whether it be smuggling, seduction, sexual harassment, sabotage, strip clubs, ​vandalism, exploding packages, psychotic ex-wives or just plenty of sex and violence. You will never be bored.

Up In Smoke is like a pack of cigarettes: an addictive guilty pleasure.

Happy April Fool's Day!

I hope your pranks were successful this morning and you were not made the fool yourself. It is always an entertaining day with so many companies and celebrities trying to get a piece of the action. I'm sure you all had a good laugh at Google dropping the mic.

In honour of this silly day, I thought I would treat you to a free story, so here is a piece of flash fiction called The Laughing Stock which appears in my short story collection Breadcrumbs.

​It is utterly bonkers. Enjoy!

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  A man walked into a bar. He never walked out. Inspector Ulnar was sent to investigate.
  ‘This better not be a joke,’ Ulnar grumbled, stepping through the doors of The Laughing Stock. 
  It was.
  Ulnar walked into a scene of jovial pandemonium. A horse with a long face was tap-dancing on a piano, whilst a twelve-inch pianist struck the honky-twonk keys with his fists.  One drunkard threw a prawn cocktail at his adversary shouting, ‘That’s just for starters.’ The bartender himself was yelling at a playwright, ‘You’re bard!’ Meanwhile, another chap was hopping around with a dog attached to his ankle screaming, ‘I thought you said your dog didn’t bite!’ to which the accused replied, ‘That isn’t my dog!’
  Ulnar sighed. Why did he always get these jobs?
  ‘Listen up! I’m looking for–‘ He tripped and landed flat on his face. That got their attention.
  He had stumbled over an inebriated giraffe. Ulnar shouted at the gorilla sat with the giraffe, ‘You can’t leave that lying there!’
  ‘That’s not a lion, it’s a giraffe!’
  Ulnar scowled and pinched the bridge of his nose.
  He held up a photo. ‘I’m looking for this man. His name is Descartes, missing presumed dead. Anyone seen him?’
  A bear shook its head. ‘No, I‘m afraid.......... not.’
  Ulnar was suspicious. ‘Why the big pause?’
  ‘I was born this way,’ replied the bear, holding up two large paws.
  Ulnar rolled his eyes and moved on. ‘You there, have you – Wait. Why do you have a steering wheel down your pants‽’
  The suspect grinned, ‘I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts!’
  It continued like this for some time.
  ‘Enough!’ yelled Ulnar. ‘This is no laughing matter! Has any man, animal or inanimate object seen this man?’
  ‘Ask the bartender,’ said a voice. It was a golf club.
  ‘You snitch!’ shouted the bartender.
  ‘Serves you right for not serving me!’
  ‘I was doing you a favour! You’re driving later!’
  Ulnar was losing patience. He grabbed the bartender and hauled him over the bar. ‘Look! Have you seen this man? His name is Descartes.’
  ‘Yes! Yes!’ the bartender spluttered. ‘He came in last night. I asked if he would like a drink and he said “I think not” and then he vanished right in front of me! I don’t understand. Who was he?’
  Ulnar groaned. It all made sense now. He unhanded the bartender and held his head in his hands. ‘He was Descartes. The philosopher. He coined the term, “I think therefore I am.”’
  The bartender thought for a second. ‘Oh… now I get it! That’s pretty funny.’
  At that, the rest of the pub burst into raucous laughter. Ulnar had half a mind to arrest the entire clientele for obstructing an investigation. He could at least bring the bartender in for causing unintentional annihilation. 
  But what was the point? It would just get laughed out of court.
  He screwed up the photo and headed for the door. ‘What a joke.’
  A man walks out of a bar.