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My Top Five Writing Lowlights of 2016

30/12/2016

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You could argue that 2016 would make a great horror movie. It was a year when the world went crazy, the far right won and everyone's heroes have been dying.

There have been some bad moments in my own writing progress too...

1. Reading - All writers need to be readers, yet I have done a woeful amount of reading this year. I have literally read 13 books this year. Roughly one measly book per month. I am hanging my head in shame.

2. Room 204 - I desperately wanted to be chosen for Room 204, the writer development programme run by Writing West Midlands. Here was my application video. Sadly, I was not chosen. Cue the Sound of Silence.

3. Nephos 3 - I started the year with high hopes of releasing my third Nephos novel. The story is plotted but I am nowhere near finished. 83,000 words ain't too shabby but I need to get faster to become a successful self-published author.

4. Breadcrumbs 2 - I also started the year with over-ambitious hopes of releasing my second short story collection. However, I only wrote five stories this year which, added to my 2015 total, means I only have enough for half a book.

5. Sales - I have sold very few copies of my three self-published books this year: The Sheriff, The Curse of Besti Bori and Breadcrumbs. I am not exactly pushing them on the marketing front, but I had hoped word of mouth might have bagged me a few extra sales, especially because I have spoken at several events this year. Never mind. Maybe next year!

But it wasn't all bad. Head this way for my writing highlights...

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My Top Five Writing Highlights of 2016

30/12/2016

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There were many highlights this year, if you can look past Trump, Brexit and the many celebrity deaths.

We had a new Harry Potter book, Pokemon Go took over our summers, Captain America 3 was awesome and Leonardo DiCaprio finally won an Oscar! (Also, my son was born.)

It is important for my own sanity that I focus on my writing highlights. I failed to published a book this year, but I need to remind myself of the other little victories along the way. In no particular order...

1. My third Nephos novel - My third untitled Nephos novel is underway with 83,151 words already written. I'm nowhere near finished but hopefully I have written too much to give up now.

2. My story was on the radio - My story, The Queen of Hearts, was performed on Brum Radio as part of the popular Tall Tales series. You can listen to The Queen of Hearts on MixCloud.

3. BWG Writing Competitions - The Birmingham Writers' Group has two short story competitions each year. I judged the Summer Competition which was a huge privilege involving lots of infographics and I won 2nd prize in the Winter competition for my Guy Fawkes story. My certificate is pictured. 10/10 for enjoyableness!

4. Festive Treats - I may not have published anything myself in 2016 but my short story, A Partridge in a Tree, was featured in the Festive Treats anthology which is free for Kindle. I was proud of my Roald Dahl-esque story but also proud to feature alongside so many talented self-published authors. It also led to some fun content marketing, such as my post titled how to win a Christmas pub quiz.

5. Short stories - I wrote a total of five short stories this year. Five is not a large number but I have been focussing on my third Nephos novel after all. Excuses, excuses! There was Knock Knock, a horror story about an evil optometrist; Error 404, about a fugitive robot in Tsukiji fish market; The Secret of Poy, a rhyming story about whether printed books or electronic books are better; A Partridge in a Tree, a festive bit of magical realism for Festive Treats; and The Last Honest Man, my Guy Fawkes entry for the BWG Winter Competition. Each will be a fine addition to my next short story collection.

But it wasn't all good news. Here are my writing lowlights...

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December 2016: The Season of Good Will

30/12/2016

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Merry Christmas!

I hope you all managed to enjoy the festive holidays, despite the tragic losses of more celebrities and the looming stand-off between the USA and Russia. The Trump parody of the John Lewis advert made me smile, even if the Christmas cracker jokes were terrible.

I took a break from writing this month so I could focus on reading. I chose to read three self-published books because I believe independent writers should help other writers... 

The first book was Festive Treats, our free Christmas anthology for Kindle. I reviewed all 16 short stories, including my own, with tweet-sized reviews of 140 characters or less. The other two books were debut novels by exciting new self-publishing authors: period detective story In The Shadow of the Stump by R K Leatherdale and dystopian satire Grind Spark by Tamara Rogers.

The other piece of writing news to report is that I won 2nd prize in the BWG Winter Competition! This means I went home with a crisp £5 note and a glorious certificate. The judge Iain Grant gave my story about Guy Fawkes meeting Death a mighty 10/10 for enjoyableness.

I judged the BWG Summer Competition earlier in the year, so I know how difficult it can be to choose a winner. I was very pleased that Martin Sullivan won 1st place for his sci-fi story. It described how footage of Earth's lost past could be retrievable from vibrations in rock and stone.

So, a quiet month on the writing front but Christmas is the perfect excuse. All that is left to do in 2016 is look back at my writing highlights and lowlights...

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REVIEW: Grind Spark by Tamara Rogers

21/12/2016

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The debut novel from Tamara Rogers was longlisted for the Bath Novel Award and deservedly so. Grind Spark is entertaining dystopian satire told with a pitch black sense of humour. 

The novel is set in a near-future which is scarily recognisable. The world is populated by reality TV, YouTube stars, porn sites, sensationalist media, plastic surgery and more. An asteroid called Angela is hurtling towards Earth to destroy the planet. The final few years, months and days on Earth are told from the perspective of the Prefin family, specifically their artifically-grown daughter Deek.

Deek is a fantastic character: observant, matter-of-fact and ultimately too good for her adoptive family/owners. She is fully intelligent from the point of creation, which makes for a particularly fun scene where she is tactically competing with fellow artificial babies to appear the cutest and be taken home.

Sadly, Deek suffers horrific abuse in the novel - notably from her jealous, drug-smoking older brother Cal - but she never loses her sardonic grim view of the world, which provides much of the humour. She never loses her fighting spirit either.

The supporting cast are equally well-drawn. Rogers provides big personalities in subtle shades of grey. There are no heroes or villains. At times, we feel sorry for Deek's mother, father and even her brother, whereas we can just as easily loathe them one page later. A particularly memorable character is Deek's gran, an ageing YouTube star never without a camera, like an octogenarian Zoella.

Rogers keeps the novel moving at a fast pace, with short scenes often cutting back and forward in time. These are punctuated with world-building scenes, usually in the form of news reports, to ensure we don't lose sight of the approaching mayhem and Armageddon. 

Ultimately, this is a coming-of-age drama, ironically told by an artificial child who will never come-of-age. She is expected to die at the age of eight according to her birth certificate (although her physical appearance is much older thanks to growth milkshakes). Grind Spark is therefore Adrian Mole for Black Mirror fans.

And the language is brilliant. Rogers packs every page with brutal and inventive wordsmithery, delivering short, punchy descriptions without straying into over-written prose.

Grind Spark established Rogers as an exciting new self-publishing talent, an alumna of the Flash Dogs community, with stacks of talent and bold ideas. The ballerina artwork deserves five stars and you should certainly judge this book by its cover.

​If you would like Simon to review your book then check out his Review Policy for more information. Sign up to Simon's newsletter to hear more about his reading and writing projects.

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REVIEW: In The Shadow of the Stump by R. K. Leatherdale

13/12/2016

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Leatherdale's debut novel is a thrilling detective story set in Boston, England, in 1904. A girl is stabbed and thrown from the top of St Botolph's Church (the titular Stump) and Inspector Thomas Caphorn is sent to investigate.

Caphorn is an appealing hero, like a cross between Dr Watson and Matthew Crawley from Downton Abbey. However, this is Dr Watson without Sherlock, for Caphorn's famous mentor Hophole has retired prior to the events of the novel.

This makes Caphorn all the more engaging. Many fictional detectives have a air of infallible arrogance, such as Sherlock, Poirot and modern alternatives like Luther. However, Caphorn is both capable and haunted with self-doubt as he navigates his first solo case, which allows for a much more interesting character.

Leatherdale presents Caphorn through a brilliant first-person narrative, which perfectly captures the voice of a well-educated Englishman at the turn of the century. Caphorn narrates his tale in lavish detail and with impeccable British politeness. The romantic description of Boston itself shows that the author himself knows the town intimately.

The plot moves at a steady pace with intrigue established from the outset. As with any murder mystery, an assortment of characters are arranged for the reader to suspect. Could the killer be the short-tempered fiance? The retired army Major? The Major's beautiful wife? The lovestruck gardener? The bullish farmer? The charming Captain Cavendish? Or the missing alcoholic verger?

Leatherdale adds further layers of intrigue as the novel progresses to keep those pages turning. He is not afraid to throw a curveball into the plot such as a second victim, a mysterious Dutch sailor, or rumours of buried treasure. Happily, all plot threads are expertly brought together for a satisfying and dramatic conclusion.

Ultimately, In The Shadow of the Stump is well-crafted and gripping period detective fiction. It is a genre for which Leatherdale has a real talent and I eagerly await Caphorn's next investigation. Thankfully, the inspector is out of the shadows.

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REVIEW: Festive Treats by Various Authors

9/12/2016

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In honour of Festive Treats, our free anthology of Christmas stories for Kindle, I thought I would review all sixteen stories which feature within the collection!

Here are some festive tweets about Festive Treats...

Hark! by Iain Grant - Four archangels enjoy a meal on Christmas Eve in this Clovenhoof spin-off. Merry mayhem packed with clever biblical references.

Mary’s Christmas by Margaret Egrot - A heart-warming tale about a lonely old woman who rediscovers the joys of Christmas. Wonderful detail and characterisation.

The Thought That Counts by Katharine D’Souza - The first in a double-bill of women’s fiction from Katharine D’Souza. Noel nostalgia and enough intrigue to keep the pages turning.

The Night Before The Others’ Christmas by R. E. Vance - Jean-Luc runs a hotel for mythical creatures. A fantastical, festive Fawlty Towers, with a hero reminiscent of Odd Thomas. Great rhymes too.

The Ghost of Christmas Replete by David Croser - A grotesque Christmas ghost intervenes in a suicide attempt. A bleak London cityscape given comic relief by the comical Crimbo caricature.

A Country Christmas by AA Abbott - Contemporary story about a father and daughter (and imaginary friend) spending Christmas in the country. Well-drawn with a hint of magic.

A Partridge in a Tree by Simon Fairbanks - A boy occupies Birmingham’s iconic Christmas Tree to prolong the holidays. A Roald Dahl-esque modern fairy tale with an inspired villain.

The Owl and the Turkey by Debbie Young - The Queen is sick of wild boar and tasks her royal huntsmen to find her a new Christmas dinner. Fun and inventive, with a lovely foreword.

Geordie Selwyn and the Bucket-List by Hilary Mortz - Two aging rockers travel to see the northern lights. Excellent narrative voice, very funny and perfectly captures the Icelandic setting.

Scent of Christmas by Katharine D’Souza – The Birmingham author captures the detail and politics of a family Christmas with a wry sense of humour. Trivial Pursuit, anyone?

O Little Town by James Brogden - People go missing when a creepy Claus-esque neighbour moves in. Surreal urban fantasy from horror writer James Brogden. Brilliant ending.

How was it for you, Joseph? by Lindsay Stanberry-Flynn - Flash fiction starring Joseph and Mary. Captures the inevitable marital dispute caused by a miraculously-conceived baby. Short and sweet.

Midwinter’s Eve by Justin Lee Anderson – Tribespeople fight for survival against the cold Midwinter and fearful Ashkari. A little romance, a lot of action and a red-armoured cameo.

Going South for Christmas by Suzanna Stanbury – Christmas on a dump with an ensemble of lovable homeless scavengers. They find food, festivities and a fortune. Excellent narrative voice.

Christmas on Mercury by A. Stuart Williams – Commonwealth and Russian spaceships meet on the fringes of Mercury. Enjoyable sci-fi adventure with likable characters and a feel-good vibe.

Elf Service by Heide Goody – A second slice of Clovenhoof chaos. Clovenhoof and tweenage terror Spartacus cause mischief in a shopping centre. Fun and fast-paced.

If you would like Simon to review your book then check out his Review Policy for more information. Sign up to Simon's newsletter to hear more about his reading and writing projects.

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November 2016: ...The Storm

1/12/2016

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I mentioned last month that October was The Calm Before, whilst November looked set to be The Storm.

This is because November is NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and I was planning to write the customary 50,000 words in 30 days.

Well... November was certainly stormy, but it was more like a blustery bad day at the beach rather than Hurricane Katrina. I finished the month with 32,000 words, which is nowhere near target. I have hit the target once before in November 2013, which is how I wrote The Sheriff, but never since.

So, this month was a little disappointing. My excuses include having a baby, a bout of food poisoning, and discovering Downton Abbey for the first time. I have just watched Series 3 Episode 5. Noooooo!

Nevertheless, this has still been my most productive month of writing so far this year, even topping my Rio-inspired writing binge in August. Over 1000 words a day is not too shabby. This means my third Nephos novel is now at 83,151 words. I'm only about a third of the way through the story, which means I might actually be writing an epic.

A Game of Thrones is 298,000 words, so I could be approaching George R R Martin levels of prose.

What else have I done this month?

1. Guest Lecture - I spoke to the first-year students on the Creative Writing course at the University of Birmingham. My talk was similar to my Book To The Future talk and covered self-publishing and self-marketing.

2. Happy Birthday Circ - our collaborative novel Circ celebrated its 2nd birthday, having been published on 25 November 2014. The Circ launch seems like yesterday. I interviewed myself to mark the occasion.

3. Christmas Posts - I have written two festive posts to raise awareness of Festive Treats, our free anthology of Christmas stories. One post is about how to win a Christmas pub quiz and the other offers 50 of the "best" Christmas cracker jokes. These have prompted huge numbers of visitors to my website, which shows that nonsensical click-bait drives more traffic than book reviews and writing advice. Duly noted.

Next month: Christmas time. To honour the season of good will, I am going to review at least two novels by fellow self-published authors. After all, writers should help other writers. Also, the winner of the BWG Winter Competition will be announced!

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